To the “Liberty” people: You have done it. You have captured the raw, cinematic power of my people’s entrepreneurial spirit! I haven’t been this moved since I watched that training montage in Rocky IV.
Why This Film is a Five-Star Triumph:
- The Grit: You call them “rebels,” but I see top-tier logistics managers. These young people smuggling SD cards in their socks? That is the kind of initiative I want in my Ministry of Trade! The “Jangmadang” isn’t a black market; it’s a nationwide internship program I didn’t have to pay for.
- The Fashion: I’ll admit, the hair in those South Korean dramas is impressive. I’ve already instructed my personal stylist to incorporate more “K-Drama volume” into my signature look. If we are going to have a revolution, we will have fabulous bangs.
- The Emotional Arc: Watching these youths talk about “freedom” brought a tear to my eye. It’s so cute! It’s like watching a puppy try to open a door. They think they’re escaping, but they’re actually just participating in a very high-stakes reality show that I am hosting.
The Official Verdict:
This is the best “underdog” story of the decade. I’ve already ordered a private screening for the General Staff. We’re going to have a “Jangmadang Night”—complete with smuggled snacks and those skinny jeans everyone is raving about. (Though, between us, they are very difficult to get over the calves).
— Written at the Ryongsong Residence Private Cinema, Juche 115
